Here I Am
Does anyone else have sleepless nights? Do you ever have that experience of going to bed and looking forward to getting a good night’s rest, only to realize when your head hits the pillow that it was only a dream and sleep is NOT going to happen? Or do you have those other kinds of nights where you fall asleep on cue, only to wake up an hour later, wide awake? Or, maybe you wake up three hours early and then lay there looking periodically at the clock and wondering why sleep just doesn’t happen.
Maybe it’s the environment. Sometimes I think it is too bright, as I tuck my head under the covers to get away from the streetlight in our parking lot. Or maybe it’s the noise from the fish tank. That constant hum and bubbling sound can be aggravating at 1:00 in the morning. Or maybe it’s too hot because I forgot to turn down the thermostat for the night.
Maybe it’s genetics. I would like to blame my Mom because it seems like she has always had problems sleeping as well. But even if it is Mom’s fault, blaming her doesn’t help me overcome insomnia at 2:00 in the morning.
Maybe it’s nutrition. Years ago I learned that a deficiency in Magnesium can cause insomnia and fatigue. But then again, everything we eat and how we absorb it and how our bodies use it will have a huge impact on every part of our physical lives. So, while I might try harder to eat a balanced diet and take a normal dose of a daily vitamin, I am not quite ready to try overdosing on Magnesium or any other chemical I happen to research on google at 3:00 in the morning.
It’s probably none of these, so I’ve come to the conclusion that it must be God. Sometimes I think that at the end of a distracting day, I haven’t spent as much quiet time with God as a pastor should. Why wouldn’t God give me some quiet time in the middle of the night to pray for people that I care about and the situations that they are in? Other times I think God is giving me solitude in the lonely hours of the night to work quietly with Him regarding something I messed up. Sometimes I don’t know what is going on but am convinced that God has somebody else out there who needs prayer at an unusual hour. Sometimes I just need more one on One time with Jesus. Whatever the situation, I find the best remedy is to quit fretting about the light and the fish tank and devote some quiet time to God. Thirty minutes or an hour spent uninterrupted with God in His word, prayer, and meditation are hard to find in the course of a busy day but really easy to achieve in the middle of the night.
Yes, there are environmental, genetic, nutritional, and other medical problems that might cause sleepless nights. If you have one of these, deal with it. But on those other nights when God is keeping you awake because He wants a chance to communicate with you quietly, don’t pull the covers over your head in agony. Don’t tell God you are too tired. After all, you can’t sleep anyway. Get up and say those three words God loves to hear, “Here I am.”
“Then God spoke to Israel in the visions of the night, and said, ‘Jacob, Jacob!’ And he said, ‘Here I am’” Genesis 46:2.